What Does It Mean to Love Like Jesus? 4 Marks of Love

By Pastor Mega Philip Mega, author of Loving Like Jesus.

Love is a word we hear every day: sung in our songs, written in our stories, whispered in our homes and preached from our pulpits. Yet for all our talk about love, very few of us have truly learned how to love the way Jesus did. His love was not casual, sentimental or convenient. It confronted sin yet welcomed sinners. It healed the broken yet challenged the proud. It stooped low to wash feet and stretched wide on a cross to redeem humanity.

Love is often misunderstood today. Many define it as feeling good, seeking personal happiness or following emotions. The Bible presents something radically different: love is a choice, a commitment and a reflection of God’s heart. Christlike love, agape, is selfless, sacrificial and unconditional. Here are four marks of loving like Jesus.

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1. Love like Jesus means loving unconditionally

Jesus loved people without conditions, performance or qualifications. He loved people before they changed, and He loved His disciples even when they were immature, fearful and arguing. “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end” (John 13:1, ESV). The Gospels show this again and again:

The woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11). He protected her from condemnation, showed mercy where she deserved judgment, restored her dignity, and then guided her toward change.
Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1–10). Jesus called him by name and went to his house before he had repented, and love led to radical transformation. Love reaches people before they change, not after.
The Samaritan woman (John 4). He crossed cultural, racial and moral barriers to speak with her and turned her into an evangelist for her town.
The leper (Mark 1:40–45). People ran from lepers, but Jesus moved toward him. His love removes shame and restores dignity.
Peter after his denial (John 21:15–19). Jesus did not reject Peter. He asked three times, “Do you love me?”, not to shame him but to heal and recommission him.

2. Love like Jesus means loving sacrificially

Jesus did not just love with words. He loved with costly action. Think of Him leaving heaven to become human (Philippians 2:5–8), healing the sick when it cost Him time and comfort, feeding the crowd while grieving, washing His disciples’ feet in the act of the lowest servant, giving His time and reputation to the marginalised, and weeping with those who wept at Lazarus’ tomb. Even toward Judas, who He knew would betray Him, He did not withdraw His love.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
John 15:13 (ESV)

The cross is the highest expression of sacrificial love: “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, ESV).

3. Love like Jesus means loving with forgiveness

On the cross, bleeding, mocked and betrayed, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34, ESV). His forgiveness was not based on their attitude. It flowed from His character. Christlike love forgives freely because it has first been forgiven.

4. Love like Jesus means loving with truth

Christlike love is never only softness. It tells the truth in love. Jesus told the Samaritan woman the truth about her life. He told the rich young ruler the hard thing he needed to hear. He confronted hypocrisy, corrected His disciples’ ambition, and rebuked Peter in love. Love that withholds truth is sentiment. Truth without love is harshness. Jesus held both together, and so can we, by His Spirit.

It is not reserved for the spiritually elite

Christlike love is not an achievement reserved for the spiritually elite. It is a lifestyle available to every believer willing to surrender, learn and grow. It will expose areas where our love has been conditional, shallow, impatient or self-centred, and it points us back to the Holy Spirit, who pours the love of God into our hearts. The greatest testimony the church can offer today may not be grand events but believers who love like Jesus in every conversation, every conflict and every connection.

Questions to ask yourself

Where has your love been conditional, waiting for someone to change first?
What would sacrificial love cost you this week: time, comfort, reputation?
Whom do you need to forgive, or to tell a hard truth to, in love?

Frequently asked questions

What does it mean to love like Jesus?

It means loving unconditionally, sacrificially, with forgiveness and with truth, as Jesus did with sinners, friends and even enemies.

Is Christlike love just being nice?

No. Jesus’ love confronted sin as well as welcoming sinners. It is both gracious and honest.

Can anyone love like Jesus?

Yes, by the Holy Spirit who pours God’s love into believers’ hearts. It is a lifestyle available to every believer who is willing to surrender and grow.

This article is drawn from the introduction of Loving Like Jesus: Living Out the Gospel in Every Relationship. Related reading: What forgiveness is not.